Reverse psychology.. It even works on babies!

My family has always been into having family BBQs. We get together almost every Sunday during the spring and summer, grill out, drink a few beers, and play with my nieces (3 yrs & 18 mos). This morning, I was thinking about how big of a drag this summer is going to be as far as family get togethers go. Let's face it... It's hard to enjoy yourself when you have a high maintenence three month old on your hands. Don't get me wrong, I love every second with her, but she just doesn't do well outside of our home. Usually, we end up leaving in a hurry, because she won't quit screaming. It's impossible to sit down and eat dinner without someone else having to hold her while she cries. I thought having a baby right before it got nice outside would be great, but I find myself thinking about how much easier it would be if the seasons were switched, so we could have an excuse to stay in. Everyone asks, "why does she cry all the time?" Well, I'm not sure. She's great at home.. Cries maybe twenty minutes at most each day. I figured Memorial day would be no different.

Today, we had two events to attend: a rather large BBQ at the in-law's house and a small family get together at my brother's home. Honestly, this was terrifying to me. She was going to be out of the house from 1-7 pm, with the exception of a quick stop at home.

We arrived at Danny's mom's house at around 1, and the crying started almost immediately. After about twenty minutes, I decided to take Maddie into the basement, because it was much cooler. She stopped crying. She was smiling and cooing most of the time. Our only mishap was when I held another baby, just a month older than Maddie. I could see it in her eyes, she was jealous. She whined the entire time, and my guess is that she was trying to say something along the lines of, "BACK THE FUCK AWAY FROM MY BOOB! THAT'S MINE. MY BOOB!" So, I fed her for the first time over there. It went well, and she was all smiles after that.

At around 3:15, we left and headed home for what we hoped would be a short, hour long nap. I wasn't holding my breath, because she hasn't been too fond of naps lately, so this usually results in an extremely cranky baby by bedtime. We deal. Just as I suspected, she did not want to nap. She had a quick boob sesh, and we headed off to my brother's house. She started out fairly calm. After being outside for about fifteen minutes, she was feeling quite warm and began to fuss a bit, but no major meltdowns. I noticed she was getting tired, so we set her down in her carseat while we ate, and she slept for about a half hour. She woke up hungry, so we took that as our cue to leave, as we only live five minutes away, and it was getting close to bath time. When we got home, she ate, had her bath, and nursed to sleep.

It was blissful.

The one day I was dreading most ended up being the easiest day out we've had so far! From now on, every time we have to go somewhere, I'm going to set myself up for a difficult time in hopes that somehow, I'm secretly using reverse psychology on her so she'll be good.

Yup.

And at the very least, I won't be upset when she does freak out, because I'll be expecting it! ;)

But for today (and every day, but especially today) I have the best baby anyone could ever ask for.

The gas we pass..

Madzilla is a fart monster. She is the smelliest of all fart monsters I've ever met. For some reason, she thinks it's really funny when she pushes out a big one, and mommy has to cover her nose. This induces an ear to ear smile, accompanied by a squeal or two. Ha. Ha. Living with my husband for five years, I've become pretty tolerant to smelly gas. He can clear a room in about ten seconds, no exaggeration. One day, we got out of the car after he farted, went inside for a half hour, got back in the car, and the scent was still as pungent as it was when it was fresh.

The first eight weeks or so, Maddie had these cute little toots.. Every time she'd let one rip, we'd laugh hysterically. At twelve weeks, we aren't laughing anymore. Have you ever smoked a huge bowl, ended up with a bad case of the munchies, and ended up making eggs and popcorn? Yeah, me neither, but that's the only way I can describe the smell. It's absolutely rancid. So, most people have the freedom to escape the smell, like my dear, dear husband. The breastfeeding mama has no choice but to suck it up and live with the stench.

I watch her. Madzilla's face is starting to scrunch up. Oh no! It's turning red, and her knees are moving up toward her tummy! She lets out a big scream and then, "PFFFFT!" I desperately try to find a blanket, stuffed animal, ANYTHING to cover my nose. It never happens, and the smell slowly creeps into my nostrils. I die.

Nothing could've ever prepared me for baby farts.. They're deceivingly cute, and eventually, those farts become monstrous. That giant, town-crushing lizard ain't got shit on Madzilla when it come to gas. Guaran-fucking-teed.

Madzilla: The girl, the myth, the legend..

On February 26th, 2011, my little beeb was born. After 9 months of kicks and jabs to the ribcage, hobbit feet, morning sickness, back aches, acid reflux, and twenty-four hours of painful labor, my sweet daughter had arrived. She was 7 pounds, 6 ounces of pure cuteness.

We named her Madeleine, because I had fallen deeply in love with the name while studying French in the eighth grade. I loved the idea of being able to call her by a nickname. Jocelyn doesn't break down very easily, and growing up, I hated that I couldn't shorten my name. The name Madeleine would give her the opportunity to decide what she wanted to be called, which will most likely be one of her "normal" nicknames like Maddie or Mads. I pretend that she will go by one of her not-so-normal nicknames, like Maddiebug, Zilly, or my personal favorite, Madzilla. I imagine the scene from "Big Daddy," where Adam Sandler asks the little boy what he wants to be called. The boy's response is, "Frankenstein." So, her teacher is calling roll on the first day of school. She says, "Madeleine?" My daughter responds, "Here, but I prefer to go by Madzilla." That is my pipe dream. Yup, this mom has HUGE aspirations for her daughter so far! Lyric was chosen by my husband, Danny. Our mutual love of music was the inspiration.

I am creating this blog to share my adventures with the infamous Madzilla. At three months old, to the day, she is becoming quite a handful, and is most certainly living up to her nickname, at times. Being a mother is the hardest job I've ever had, but each smile, coo, and giggle makes it the most rewarding.