Boobie attacks.

From what I've gathered, when a woman finds out she's pregnant, she tells her husband, family, and friends, and then she joins a message board. In that order. Most of us are guilty of it, although we may not always admit it. Most conversations that lead to my conclusion go like this:

"Yeah, I had a friend tell me about this book I should read about natural child birth."
"Oh really? Who was it?"
"Just a friend online."
"YOU'RE ON BABYCENTER AREN'T YOU?!"

You can substitute other sites in there, like thebump.com or whattoexpect.com, but most pregnant women will subscribe to a message board of some sort for guidance, medical expertise (because everyone on babycenter is a doctor), or just to argue with other hormonal women about trivial things such as epidurals, formula vs. breastfeeding, or how they are going to diaper their child. No matter what choices you make, there will ALWAYS be someone with an opposing view. If you say, "Breastfeeding reduces the risk of female cancers for baby & mom," you will have 20 women jumping down your throat saying, "well SOME women CAN'T breastfeed, and SOME women have JOBS, and there is NOTHING wrong with how I choose to feed MY baby." Well, yes. You're right. Did I say, "formula is disgusting?" No (although I may have been thinking it). & thus begins a boobie war. Formula feeding mothers will attack the breastfeeding moms & vice versa. This is how almost every topic on babycenter (and I'm assuming those other sites) ends.

It's ridiculous, but I'm addicted to the drama. Even beyond pregnancy, there's always some "controversial" topic to discuss: My 2 month old loves her jumparoo! Is 3 months too early to start solids? Are you giving rice cereal? My doctor says it's the devil. Baby led weaning vs. purees? My baby isn't sleeping through the night! I must be doing something wrong! Is 3 months too early to cry it out?

It's entertaining, at least.

In Madzilla news, she's figured out how to get a reaction out of me or her father. She screams bloody murder one second and is perfectly content the next. She coughs when she goes down for a nap, because she knows we'll come running. No big deal, right? Well she has been TORTURING my boobies lately. She claws & twists at my boob meat and bites & tugs on my nips. Ouch. I've heard from a friend that you are supposed to shriek & say "no." All that's been doing is making her laugh hysterically. My boobies can't take much more. Sigh.... I'm hoping this phase goes away very quickly.

Yeah, I attack mama's boobies. Whatchu gonna do about it, punk?!